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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23521774">Dear Iwa-chan</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_ninja/pseuds/Space_ninja'>Space_ninja</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forever Yours [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Anxiety, Depressed Oikawa Tooru, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Insecure Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, M/M, Oikawa Tooru is a Mess, Paranoia, Sad Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:22:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23521774</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_ninja/pseuds/Space_ninja</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>" You could do better, you could find someone who can support you, who isn't insecure, who doesn't overthink, someone less like me"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forever Yours [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654501</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dear Iwa-chan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Iwa-chan,</p><p>I really want to tell you about everything that goes on in my head. I really do but honestly it's so chaotic in there, most days I can barely stand it. The feeling of eyes on my back and the ghostly feeling of invisible touches haunt me most of the day. It takes a lot of effort to not flinch or randomly panic. I guess that's why I like having physical contact with people. It reminds me of what's real. It works on the anxiety too. The sinking feeling of dread that pools in your stomach and the fear that you're going to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing and lose everyone. Physical contact is just so much simpler and reassuring. The depression is completely different story, any indication anyone cares helps drown it all out but any small thing that indicates the opposite gives me the overwhelming feeling that I messed up and now you're gonna leave. My insecurities eat me alive and I can't fight them. I just pretend they don't exist so I don't have to face them, and I don't tell anyone about them so I'm not a burden. I can't be sensitive, weak, or a burden because then I'm doing harm. So I don't tell people when I need them and I don't tell them when I'm hurting. I've learned to be ok or to seem ok and that's the best I can do right now. One day I might tell you about everything in my head, one day I might reach out, and I'm trying to. There are just some things I'm not comfortable talking about and I guess I don't want you to see how broken I really am. It's easier for you to think that I'm pathetic and I'm being dramatic. But I love you and I'm doing this because I can't put all of my shit on you. I cant be the person in your life you need to carry, the one you need to support, you don't deserve that. Honestly nobody deserves to put up with me. You could do better, you could find someone who can support you, who isn't insecure, who doesn't overthink, someone less like me. </p><p>Forever yours<br/>
Tooru</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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